By Elaine Schallock
Our recent post, Why INFJ, INFP, INTJ & INTP Types Struggle in Modern Life: Part 1, resonated with readers as explanatory and insightful, if not a little discouraging; those who felt that it left readers hanging will hopefully find some positive resolution as we get down to brass tacks on this topic while providing useful tools for how to navigate the challenges of modern life as an Introverted Intuitive (IN) type.
While A.J. alluded to the concepts described below in Part 1, I believe they deserve to be addressed explicitly here since they represent the two essential problems IN types experience with respect to “modern life.” All of the other phenomena he described can pretty much be traced back to one of these two essential problems. Understanding them first and then addressing potential solutions may help readers see their way clear to more balanced and meaningful lives as IN types.
The Problem of Scope
When attempting to describe what “modern life” looks like, it’s not uncommon to hear the phrase, “The world has gotten smaller.” We understand this to mean, of course, that the far corners of the globe – people, places, objects and ideas – are more within reach thanks to the advent of technology that has made transportation and communication easier. This increase in accessibility has brought a range of new people, places, and things that was previously very difficult (if not impossible) to reach literally into the palm of our hand giving us the sense that, indeed, the world has “gotten smaller.”
But ask an introvert to describe more subjectively what his or her personal experience of “modern life” is like and you might hear something that sounds exactly opposite: “The world has gotten bigger.”
Objectively speaking, of course, the world itself has neither gotten any bigger or smaller; what has changed, however, is the scope of what is now included in our personal perception of the world around us. How we interpret this, as either an enlarging or shrinking, is essentially dependent on which “world”—either the inner (introverted) world of our own individual mind/body experience or the (extraverted) outer world of the collective ideational / environmental experience—we primarily identify as occupying.
There is no question that the scope of ideas and things available to us in the outside world has increased exponentially. In the case of introverts, that “outside world” has, rather uninvitedly, imposed itself on their inner world, creating a sense that the world is somehow getting bigger. And since introverts by design are wired to focus more intensely on only one or a few things at a time, the rapid increase in the scope of things available to them creates an acute sensation of information overload.
Introverts can surely relate to the findings outlined by Barry Schwartz in his book The Paradox of Choice wherein he asserts that an overabundance of consumer options actually minimizes freedom and happiness as a result of the anxiety produced in the process of struggling to decide how best to divide our money, time and energy. The theory applies to more than just sales goods; it’s reasonable to assume that everything from Twitter feeds to online job postings to Netflix movies— essentially anything that makes additional demands for our time and attention—is capable of producing the same anxiety.
In the halcyon days, we simply didn’t know what we were missing. Blissfully reveling in the scarcity of information before us, we relished our ability to remain ignorant of our friend’s toddler’s latest experience with chia seed pudding pops. That’s because being bombarded with that kind of inanity is not merely distracting—it’s irritating. The sense that we’ve been robbed of the precious resource that is time, now irreplaceable, to prop up the frivolous ego needs of others leads to our feeling of being used or taken advantage of. Meaning: all of that extraneous information has a very real impact on our overall sense of well-being.
Worse still is when such information has an acute influence on our own sense of self-worth. In a world where it’s virtually impossible to avoid the constant pinging of social media updates, even introverts (despite typically being immune to making outside comparisons) somehow find themselves in the grip of the kind of insecurity and self-loathing that comes from innocently logging onto your Instagram account only to be assaulted by your co-worker’s bikini body or your neighbor’s braggadocio about their latest “business trip” to Cabo.
Of course, the obvious solution would be to simply turn off the social media noise. But, for IN types who are Feelers especially, there is often a sense of guilt that accompanies choosing to ignore or “un-friend” someone—particularly when there is a clear risk of offending someone you have to interact with on a somewhat regular basis. And even if we manage to avoid the trappings of social media, it can be incredibly difficult to avoid going down the rabbit hole, for example, that is “Google Search.” (I’m looking at you, INTP and INTJ types.) Often, our well-intentioned quests for truly meaningful or thought-provoking information somehow end with us being forced to sift through all kinds of internet drivel before we ask ourselves what it was, exactly, that we were searching for in the first place.
In short, modern life has made Extraverted Perceivers (EPs) out of all of us. The increase in the scope of what’s available to us, while thankfully bringing much that is truly good and useful, has unfortunately, by design, also besieged us with the “bad.” Ironically, this has created a situation in which more and more of our time is devoted to sorting out how to spend our time. And that leads us to the next problem.
The Problem of Pace
There are only so many hours in the day. When the scope of what’s allowed to enter into our lives increases, the pace of our lives must also increase in order to make time for everything we’re attempting to fit in. Scope, therefore, has a direct relationship with pace. The two are mutually reinforcing.
In addition, technology has helped accelerate the pace of life since we’re no longer forced to travel by horse and buggy or wait to communicate using snail mail; people expect responses to their text messages and emails within minutes—not days—making us feel obligated to do twice as much in half the time. IN types struggling to keep up with the scope of what’s being added to their world find themselves even more overwhelmed at the prospect of being forced to speed up. It’s a juggling act; every minute a new ball is thrown in and, in order to keep up, the juggler is expected to go faster.
Scope and pace are really at the heart of the Introvert-Extravert distinction generally: Extraverts approach life with a “Zoom Out, Speed Up” mentality and Introverts approach life with a “Zoom In, Slow Down” mentality. Modern life has made “Zoom Out, Speed Up” the norm, leaving Introverts feeling as if they’re in the minority. In the case of IN types specifically, this is accentuated even further by the isolation they feel with respect to their desire to focus on things that 75% of the rest of the world considers impractical, esoteric, and generally unprofitable (save for the rare handful of IN genius/entrepreneurs that manage to do things like, say, invent Facebook).
Extraverts, having found a way to capitalize on their ability to multitask and their love of all things “more, more, more” are sprinting ahead, spurred by the momentum that modern life has created with this increase in scope and pace. For Introverts, that increase in momentum actually translates to a feeling of mania that is at best distracting and at worst debilitating, particularly when the result is physical or psychological burn out.
Modern life is like a runaway train and IN types are being dragged along behind it by the hair. What is so distressing about this for Introverts is that they are typically accustomed to feeling like they’re in the driver’s seat and very much in control of the course of their individual lives. INPs in particular, as dominant inner Judgers, may find being swept up in the unmanageable momentum of the modern world incredibly frightening since it tends to engender feelings of nihilism and meaninglessness.
Any attempt to fight this momentum invariably brings with it an inferior function dilemma. As A.J. alluded to in Part One, the pre-eminent fear is that if IN types don’t keep up they’ll be left behind and potentially miss out on something really important. What that “something” is exactly is dependent on the inferior function of a given type. If you’re an INFJ or INTJ, it may be a fear of missing out on Se experiences (visiting an exotic place, eating an incredible meal, owning a nice home, etc.). If you’re an INTP, it’s likely to be a fear of missing out on Fe relationships (finding true love, making new friends, becoming esteemed societally, etc.) If you’re an INFP, it’s likely to be a fear of missing out on a Te accomplishment (a career advancement, a project management opportunity, earning a service award, etc.)
Ironically, many IN types who attempt to keep up with the increase in scope and pace of modern life for fear of missing out ultimately find themselves dissatisfied, despite having decided to opt in. Whatever clarity INs hoped to find by playing the modern life game cruelly ends up pulling a “gotcha” since, like a deal with the devil, it demands that they sacrifice their true nature as investors by divesting their time and energy across the board. It’s a discouraging reality that A.J. honed in on, lending itself to the dispiriting tone in Part One.
Fortunately, there are countermeasures that INs can take in their personal lives to help offset the pressures of increasing scope and pace in modern life. While I can’t optimistically see a general return to simpler, slower times for society in the near future, that doesn’t mean that as individual IN types we can’t do our part to find authenticity in spite of the challenging realities of modern life.
Solutions for INFJ, INFP, INTJ, & INTP Types
First of all, it’s important to remember that this surge in scope and pace is not without consequences. The reality is, whatever Extraverts gain in scope and pace they ultimately sacrifice in depth and accuracy. A cardiologist capable of doing twice as many bypass surgeries in a day as another surgeon but with only 25% of the success rate would generally be regarded as a failure.
Introverts represent the counterbalance to the kind of unchecked speed and growth caused by rampant Extraversion that can lead to critical oversight. For this reason, Introverts need to remember the value of their role as deliberators and restrainers. INs in particular play a unique part since they represent the rare ability to lend theoretical insight and to discern the hypothetical consequences of unchecked Extraverted Sensing behavior.
I therefore encourage IN types to stop trying to beat ES types at their own game. Resist temptation, where possible, to concede to the notion that in order to be valuable or successful you must necessarily “do more, faster.” Consider the alternative: “do better, slower” and focus on quality over quantity. Be prepared for the fact that it may take you longer to get where you’re going, but that you will likely reap as many or more benefits than Extraverts in the long run.
Even still, it can be incredibly difficult not to get caught up in the momentum of modern life since its scope and pace constantly surround us. This is compounded by the fact that, while often overwhelming IN types, modern life paradoxically also has a way of enticing and luring INs in with the promise of payoffs for the inferior function. To avoid this, INs need to be aware of signs that they’re falling into the “grip.” Grip behavior is marked by obsessive, compulsive tendencies that eventually lead to feelings of anxiety, emptiness, and dissatisfaction. Grip behavior is avoidable by becoming more in tune with the triggers of your type’s inferior function (see A.J.’s 16 Personality Types book for more on this), as well as bringing general consciousness to your overall personality type.
Ideally, INFJ, INTJ, INFP, and INTP types should try to implement strategies that will set them up for success before they reach the point where they feel themselves falling into the grip. This is achievable in a variety of ways. First, INs should spend time evaluating their true priorities and passions, making the decision to put those first. In light of the fact that INs want to “deeply invest in something while… remaining responsive to new trends or developments” (as A.J. said in Part One) without developing the kind of tunnel vision that puts them at risk of becoming irrelevant in a rapidly changing modern world, it makes sense to start with a broad area of interest and let time and experience whittle that down into something more focused in due time.
It’s also important that IN types consider what about modern life does not give their lives true value and meaning, and then make a conscious effort to reduce time and energy wasted on those things (e.g., spending excess time on social media). Doing so may require IN types to do something that is totally counterintuitive to them: choose willful ignorance. Be prepared for the idea that you may risk losing a kernel of value in a cornfield of crap, but know that that’s okay. Given the cost created by the time and energy it would take to find that kernel, the better decision may be to let it go uncovered—particularly when you know there are more reliable sources of value (even if somewhat lesser in amount) available to you.
Make a decision to carve out media-free, distraction-free time, and stop questioning what you might be missing. Avoid falling victim to a “grass is greener” mentality, compulsively seeking out new or potential options, particularly where they involve your inferior function. Harnessing the gift of focus as an introvert is one of the most powerful ways that IN types can stay the course. Recognize that as an Introverted Intuitive, value and meaning is more probably something that you create for yourself, rather than something that you discover out there by joining the extraverted rat race, despite what modern life tells us.
Be aware of the ways in which you may reduce your sense of “smallness” or insignificance in the modern climate by choosing to connect with and invest in your local community rather than constantly trying to compete globally. Despite the need to “see the big picture” as an N type, there may be times when, for your mental and emotional well-being, it becomes necessary to focus on a smaller scale. Remember the value of face-to-face communication and choose to connect with fewer people but on a more intimate level, reinforcing the “quality over quantity” mentality that is more authentic for IN types.
Additionally, learn to make elements of modern life work for you, not against you, as an IN type. Particularly where mandatory Sensing matters are concerned, the benefits of modern technology can be incredibly helpful for saving time and energy (hooray automatic bill pay!) so that IN types can focus on more authentic things. And if you must concede to the realities of modern life, try to allow for an increase in either scope or pace, but not necessarily both at once.
It has been my observation that INP types, with their authentic penchant for capturing as broad a range of ideas as possible thanks to their Ne function, tend to handle an increase in scope better than an increase in pace. Conversely, INJ types, with Ni’s preference for focusing intensively on an overarching theory, tend to handle an increase in pace better than an increase in scope. While an increase in either scope or pace (with a corresponding decrease in the other) can be invigorating for IN types, be aware that things quickly become overwhelming when scope and pace are turned up simultaneously.
Lastly, it bears reminding that IN types are important to the world. Read it again: You, dear IN type, are important to the fabric of society. At the risk of sounding cliché, your individual contribution ultimately creates a collective, counterbalancing force that improves the functioning of the community as a whole. Being outnumbered does not make you any less important, it simply makes you less abundant. In fact, the relative scarcity of IN types arguably makes them more valuable than ever in modern society since they bear a larger share of responsibility in counterbalancing the pitfalls that come with life’s increasing scope and pace. INs can use that awareness to feel invigorated as they pursue their authentic purpose in spite of the challenges that modern life brings.
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